Being in love…

On the heart, on matters of the heart I have loved mostly because I received very little of it. Love seemed to be the only way I thought it would be possible to be . To be love and not receive love can be quite draining but for a child it can be just about the only way to survive. I only loved because even thou there was a lot pain around e it came from love a need of receiving it. Need of feeling it because of love we endured we survived. It didn’t cost much to say to a child ‘I love you…’

My parents didn’t receive much love and there was a civil war and lots of problems com with it. I when I was a child I wanted to hear the words I love you. I think we all do all things and all people some more then others. I grew into love with myself when I realised that no one can really love you if you don’t love yourself no one can appreciate who you are if you don’t respect yourself. It grows with me every year the need to raise my self love higher and often I show love to myself by kissing my own skin I tell me I love me. I do love me. Truly as I am the only one I will ever truly get to know. I am in me and all the pain transform into tears as I learn to feel and felt I transform it to love. I feel it I breath it in learn from it. When I meet people in Europe in the counties I been to most of them were so empty that if you gave them love they hurt you back, it seem to me they were just empty it and damaged in a different way numb unaware of love even friendship love they sneered at even brotherly love. Some of them were completely ignorant of it or shut their senses to it. It made me realize they all in their different ways also wanted love but from a different place. Where I came from it there was pain atrocity and great lost. Continue reading

Odette be…

Odette be…

Listening to my heart,
I pay attention to the many humdrum and the rhythm
of beats and vibrations resonating vibrating all over every inch of my entire body
my nerve centre and senses connect
Vibrations, sound and the sound is the law
one with the law and eternity…

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