Loving me positive Affirmations

I am in love!

I have fallen in love with myself and its unconditionally and it was love at first sight!

Who would have thought that I could ever deserve such a supreme exceptional love like the one I am feeling. It feels so good and it’s so pure I have been doing so every day falling in love with me.

I have decided to share some of the very juicy intimate happy romantic moments I have been having with me. I have call them loving me positive affirmations some feelings that have been coming out are so deep and profound. I am so deeply enjoying the love I am giving and receiving from me. I often like many have been s caught up in the habit of looking for love outside of myself. I meet someone who completely made me look within me and I found myself falling in love slowly with me. Continue reading

Sisters

 

They are my stars, my sisters and I are close, but live such different lives.There is so much love in me for them and they bring out the best in me.   I love them deeply, we are not perfect but perfectly imperfect.  They inspire me and at times drive me mad and with rage and laughter, fill my life with simply amazing moments and beautiful adventures.  When we we’re little I wanted to marry them when I grew up they truly tried talking me out of not wanting to grow up.  I think I was never really was listening, I kind of never did.  At times I still see myself self as the little girl who didn’t really want to grow up and I was really the last one to want to have a boyfriend.  Who cares about having a proper boyfriend when you can have adventures and explore reality or what ever is really happening!  I love my sisters they thought me to want to learn about being a woman.  I love the women in my life! What are the connections between you and yours sisters would love you share them here with me.

 

 

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Being in love…

On the heart, on matters of the heart I have loved mostly because I received very little of it. Love seemed to be the only way I thought it would be possible to be . To be love and not receive love can be quite draining but for a child it can be just about the only way to survive. I only loved because even thou there was a lot pain around e it came from love a need of receiving it. Need of feeling it because of love we endured we survived. It didn’t cost much to say to a child ‘I love you…’

My parents didn’t receive much love and there was a civil war and lots of problems com with it. I when I was a child I wanted to hear the words I love you. I think we all do all things and all people some more then others. I grew into love with myself when I realised that no one can really love you if you don’t love yourself no one can appreciate who you are if you don’t respect yourself. It grows with me every year the need to raise my self love higher and often I show love to myself by kissing my own skin I tell me I love me. I do love me. Truly as I am the only one I will ever truly get to know. I am in me and all the pain transform into tears as I learn to feel and felt I transform it to love. I feel it I breath it in learn from it. When I meet people in Europe in the counties I been to most of them were so empty that if you gave them love they hurt you back, it seem to me they were just empty it and damaged in a different way numb unaware of love even friendship love they sneered at even brotherly love. Some of them were completely ignorant of it or shut their senses to it. It made me realize they all in their different ways also wanted love but from a different place. Where I came from it there was pain atrocity and great lost. Continue reading

Return to the Ayahuasca workshop…

On the way to the workshop it was though to get a cab to where I needed to go so it took lots and lots and lots of phone calls to make myself understood about where exactly I was going which is Hein boeicoposeweg I think that is how it is called. But it was hell to talk to six different Dutch people who didn’t have a clue of what I was saying! Damn that took me to hell and back… I was afraid I would get lost. But then everything just went really well managed to get the correct pronunciation and got to the place! Continue reading

Mental Health Foundation blog entry…

Hello all of you, who I’m so grateful to for lending me your valuable brains and allowing me to be heard.  I so appreciate that you take the time to read my blog entries.  I just want to let you all know that I am supremely grateful for your time and do wonder what you really think of all this stuff I write about.

I recently wrote an article for the Mental Health Foundation’s blog on how we relate to one another.  I hope some of you can write your views on the issues raised in this article.  Please follow the link – How we relate

I really find it important that we stop feeling invisible and start standing up for our rights everywhere on this planet.  We’ve got to start small.  But better now than never.  Hope you feel inspired and write your comments in the name of freedom.

 

Some words…

Just want to thank all of you who have kindly been reading. I am very grateful for your support. There will be one more final post regarding this experience and then I’ll add a post about using it as a tool. I just want you to keep in mind that this all happened in the space of three days. This has been a life-changing and extraordinary experience for a human like me. I rate it along with being conceived and giving birth as the third most significant event that has occurred during my existence.

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Ayahuasca part trois – the saga continues…

I tried to forget that such things ever happened to me and have accepted them. I am not asking for people to agree with me or start an investigation on this issue, but I feel quite strange about sharing all this stuff with people. But it was an experience.

Later that night I stayed up late talking to one of the people on the workshop. I can’t remember his name, but it was nice to talk to someone. I often recall my experiences better if I speak them out loud to my conscious mind as if to affirm my memory so I can later write it down. When I was a child I always used to do this: I would try to remember everything that had happened to me and felt I was really good at it. Later, as a young adult, I came to feel, as some memories simply faded, that a smell or a colour could bring them back. Often just a sentence could bring the memory of a day back to me.

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Keeping up pace…

   During this week I have being doing so much! It’s been thing after thing after thing. I hardly had time to stop and rest.

I have been trying to update the blog every day but I missed out on Thursday I think. Well, I wanted to welcome the few people I have managed to attract to the blog. I also wanted to welcome you, whoever you may be. I want to say “Hello!” Thanks for looking at my attempt to get people relating and communicating in different ways. I hope I can start a new trend of making people more aware of their attitudes and that I can grow from this experience too. So do share here in this space and write your own posts as I am inviting you to please express yourself.

So don’t be shy – please be expressive. I want to let you know that I am dyslexic, dyspraxic, suffer from Irlen syndrome and probably have ADHD.

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More on relating

It’s really crazy!! When I was a child I found it so difficult to even like being human because we can be so fickle at times. Kids bully kids at school because they’re not wearing the right clothes?! I was maybe eight, I think, at the time that I experienced being bullied by this kid at school who used to take my lunch every day. I would get very, very hungry, and my mother noticed my increase in appetite and asked me why was I hungrier. Being afraid of her, I told her the truth. I mean, she was the law-enforcer in my family of eight children and she knew how to apply force with her hands and other objects very creatively. I told her this kid, who was five years older than me, was eating my lunch and everyone else’s in my class. I confided in her in the hope of being rescued or being saved. But this is what she told me after my sad tale. She said that if I came home the next day without having eaten my food I would have to fight her. I mean, my mum was a very strong woman with long hair and light skin: I thought of her at times as like a lion because she was so strong. I heard stories of, and at times had been witness to, her incredible strength and bravery.

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