On the way to the workshop it was though to get a cab to where I needed to go so it took lots and lots and lots of phone calls to make myself understood about where exactly I was going which is Hein boeicoposeweg I think that is how it is called. But it was hell to talk to six different Dutch people who didn’t have a clue of what I was saying! Damn that took me to hell and back… I was afraid I would get lost. But then everything just went really well managed to get the correct pronunciation and got to the place! Continue reading
That it was my choice but it was very important for me to attend this workshop and that a lot of work had gone into making this happen… They were even showing me some of the implications for the events that were to follow – that I had come here to do work with humanity on this part of our development. This went on for about 30 minutes. Then I agreed to go then it stopped. I got up, had some tea, then went back to bed. Continue reading
My second Ayahuasca journey… I have to say, after my first workshop my life had transformed in a big way. I had not only been happier within myself and healthier in my lifestyle, my levels of well-being were on a high. I have to say the effects for me were prominent for almost three to six months – I am not sure why. Continue reading
I then know we all know we are all one. A perfect illustration of this is when one is cold and hungry and looking for shelter, lost in a huge forest, and seeing a light at a distance with the hope that somewhere in that light there are comfort and shelter and warmth and smiles.
The feeling of eating when you’re really starved, so much that the touch of food on your lips fills you with tears of joy: I have been that hungry person and I shed those tears. In these tears burn love and compassion and they are tears of joy and love that food is entering a stomach that had known what it was like to feel empty. Continue reading
I kept on reading lots of books on living after enlightment. Now I realise if I ever experience it again I will just enjoy it and nothing more. Continue reading
Going through this process wasn’t easy, mainly because nothing prepared me for how I would be feeling. It took about a month for the effects to wear off. At least by then I felt a bit more grounded. I felt so open and sensitive, mainly vulnerable, with my new sense of self, and I felt so much love and compassion for others and myself, sometimes it was easier just to be alone. It was so hard to be around people and see them be mean to themselves and others. It was difficult to see people pretending to be nice when in truth they were only lying to one another for some silly reason that made their day. Continue reading
I stopped any sexual relations with others for nearly five months; I didn’t feel any need to connect in that way. Together with swimming and my meditation and exercises, I was finding new ways of channelling my own power. I just felt real love and a deep oneness with myself and I wanted to explore where this was taking me. During this period I was in search of more techniques to help me unlock and learn about my fears and their roots. I went to a sweat lodge; later I spent time in a shamanic Icarus ceremony. I also experienced drinking peyote, during which I cried a lot as a result – I really couldn’t stop crying. It was a very deep spiritual experience, especially the sweat lodge – I felt like I was in the womb of Mother Earth. Continue reading
I have been struggling to write this piece. It is mainly about the effects I received from taking ayahuasca. When I got home from the Netherlands I was quite choked at how difficult it was to come back to my life – having to go to the airport and take a flight. Dealing with people was hard because it was hard to look at a world with people who had not experienced the so humbling, caring feeling it is to drink the medicine. I felt enlightened and also felt I experienced the state of nirvana. I saw the emptiness in my life prior to experiencing ayahuasca. I had in me a deep love for the whole world – a feeling of kinship towards my sisters and brothers and all who exist on this planet, all who had ever been. Yet I could see in people’s eyes their worries and sadness, stress, lack of love. Continue reading
Well, after the sharing we all got into our positions and held hands, and it was really beautiful: we were all smiling at each other, just really positive. We had to look – I think it was at the beginning of the ceremony that we had to look at each other’s eyes, finding some warm eyes, just like sharing positive energy, warmth, you know, and I just really loved the whole beginning of it. And I was also shitting myself, to be honest.
So these revelations went on for quite a while. They were about my past lives and this life that I am living right now. I was told many things but feel odd about sharing them as I write this. But I am choosing love and light, so perhaps some will be OK to share. I think balance is best. So I was told that this was my last life here and that I had been here many times before. I was also told that I was there in the ceremony for a reason which I cannot share here, but I was told about the people within the group – people I didn’t know – and how we could work together. Later I was given information about situations in