Later we closed the ceremony together with Norberto, Rini, and Judith Rene, who were assisting. After closing we had a lovely meal, cooked by this wonderful couple whose names I can’t remember at the moment.
The following morning I had been woken up through a dream around six am. I was flying in the dream. I was looking for my son, flying through different lands, and as I found him I flew down and woke up. I meditated, prayed and went for a shower. I wasn’t sure what the dream was about, but I just felt something pull me out of sleep and I was up. Outside the sun was shining and the light glistening through the foliage of the trees, and everyone was up and brought to life by the sun, nature and birds…
I went to greet the sun – greet my fellow workshop attendees. We shared a lot in the evening – our reasons to be there; our fears; our intents for working with the medicine. I met with quite a few individuals who were afraid of the work I shared with them. I shared some stories and relaxed them in knowing that their energy affects the work we do – at least, it affects me through my own work. As I said, I am very sensitive to people’s energies. We started the workshop very early – around nine-ish. There is always the commotion of going to the toilet and last-minute trips and things people want to bring. This time around I searched my heart and found again I had only gratitude to share with my mother and it was OK. I cannot force myself to ask for something I don’t need. As I couldn’t think of anything to ask, I enjoyed my mother just being in my body. Norberto and Rene had something for us to do this time – some light yoga exercises. As it was the second day, it was nice to enjoy that sort of thing. Often when there is fear we all get tense; it really felt great to relax the body. I am grateful for Rene for sharing with us such nice relaxing moves, so adequate for the situation. We sang the ayahuasca Santo Daime song, and the lady who sang the night before shared some more of her sweet, enchanting music. I kept on seeing angels around her, and she even sounded like one too. As the medicine started working though our bodies, I felt and saw everyone’s ancestors in the room – lots of souls were there. I don’t even know a number to say, but lots – everyone I looked at had lots of people behind them: it was weird to have such clear vision. I was just absorbing the experience. I then at some point saw Thoth, the Egyptian deity, who I never really thought about much in my personal beliefs; I looked at him, and at the time I didn’t know who he was, but I felt I knew him – I missed him so much. He showed me how many times we had worked together and how being here in this incarnation was part of a work we did together. He was working with me – he led the work of me coming here before some experiment or something. He kept on showing things to me – or I was having visions induced by the substances in the medicine. I just remember missing him so much, and he told me we were equals, which I find hard to believe – but how is it possible for me to miss and love a deity such as Thoth, who I never paid any mind to before this workshop? I am not sure what that was about. I mean, I had been reading the Kybalion, but I didn’t research much on Thoth himself. I was quite surprised by that. But then the energy in the room was changing, and I just remember telling Norberto I’d be staying outside by the field, where the cows and sheep were hanging out. I just felt the medicine asking me to go outside and recycle that energy, which I kept doing and just did for most of the time it was really affecting me to stay in the room. As I went and lay in the grass, I grounded myself and connected with nature: the plant was telling me about our planet and the birds and all the life in it and how closely we were all connected. I was just telling the plant how grateful I was to be with it and just enjoying it going through my body and working through me, through every pore of my being, feeling everyone’s energy inside the room calling me back to join the group and feeling all the stuff they were releasing and going back outside to lie on the ground and send it back to the ground. This went on for ages: there were people going through the motions of the work. I felt quite normal, apart from feeling everyone’s energy going through me. I used to get annoyed before when this happened in the past in other situations. But I learned to protect myself and recycle and ground that energy; it’s like transmutation, so you just conduct energy, bless it with your intent and send it back out to nature, to the universe. It was sort of automatic – I just sort of get guidance of what to do. I just don’t let it stay inside me any more as I used to in the past – I used to feel what everyone was feeling and feel really uncomfortable with it; then they sensed it too. This time it was, like, send it back out and bless it: job done. I just enjoyed a lot of it in the sense of grounding myself and others around the room. I spent a long time just listening to mother (Ayahuasca) telling me about nature energies and the planet – how everything is connected. For example, I was given insights regarding all our ancestors who have lived and been buried in the ground, and all these plants and flora are parts of them, and how we eat from nature but we are still connecting with their energy and prana all around us and going through us and every soul who ever lived has done some work here and we are all inheritors of these works. The more we get connected to plants and animals, we are tapping into their energy and activating blueprints in our spiritual bodies which connect us to other types of energies, depending on our awareness and faith level.
Sometimes there are blockages through lack of faith, and that makes the work more difficult or ineffectual in when it comes to healing. The importance of being open to receiving healing often needs to be done through our karmic past, changing that energy and healing our family tree. Then I went back in for a drink, and I was receiving messages from some of the spirits in the room, and because I do not feel comfortable about sharing these messages, I am a bit shy about these things and my gifts.
I prayed for these individuals, and I often find ways of having conversations which may give some insight regarding the messages I received. I just find it weird to say “Hey, I am getting this stuff for you – you want to hear it?” But I do it in my own way – just spark out conversation and say something they ask me to pass on. I am trying to be more comfortable and less shy about it – I don’t feel ashamed. I just feel already that feeling other people’s insides and how they feel is already weird, and then getting messages is, like, too much information. I also want to work on myself and relax – I just end up getting all these messages from all these souls and I am, like, “Leave me, please – I need some me time.” It can be quite overwhelming when you’re also told something and they ask you not to tell the person and you’re, like, OK. You see the person and you cannot tell them. So it is weird.